i LOVE going to the Library! The Head Librarian is so... YUMMI!!! And so is Her Helper!!!! i am always wet for Them, and despite trying to be professional, They are quite... PLAYFUL!!! *giggles!* it is a Thursday, around closing, and it is time to play. The Helper locked the door, and i was caught inside when They began to play. i shyly walked up to the desk and introduced myself. "Hi! my name is cindy!" The Helper Girl grabbed my throat, gently squeezing, and growled at me... "No it isnt bitch. your name is sinny!" *GIGGLES!*
Seriously though, that was a super-amusing remark. If you're interested in doing humor writing, I can get you in touch with a friend of mine who's an editor at The New Yorker; they're always looking for fresh new talent, and you seem to have to the goods. You could be sitting on a literary gold-mine, my friend...
You wound me, sir; I graduated elementary school summa cum laude, a member of the honor society and class valedictorian. It was junior high that was my undoing, with the ungodly emphasis on algebraic formulae and the parsing of sentences, dangling participles and such. Oh, if only I had applied myself to my studies! had I done so I might not find myself in this diminished state you find me now. You are so right to look down upon me, as I was clearly not able to cut the mustard, scholastically speaking. I defer to your vastly superior intellect, and humbly beg your pardon for my dullness.